Thursday, September 01, 2005

Of Facades and Fiascos


Perhaps one of the worst predicaments a sensitive individual could ever confront is when his reasons struggle to check his tears. Taken aback by the scheming indifference of people he worked with , startled by their shameless penchant to grab an original idea some one else developed, improvise on it, touch on it a bit here and there and turn it in before the public as their creation and then go on to patronize anything that comes out of it, while the one who initiated it sits in a corner unacknowledged all through. He remains silent though he is enraged at the way it was carried out. Bombarded with a question that shot through his being , “How could they do it this way?”, he sat there watching… finding it hard to believe.

He never craved for public attention and he shies away from glorification. But he longs to hear how people have received it all, to hear the criticisms and appreciations and work on to bring in more enriching dimensions. There is nothing like getting the feedback right at the arena of action. He found it difficult to sit through the ordeal of remaining a mute witness of an utterly mismanaged execution of a task all so eagerly looked forward. Inevitable human errors and inclusive human factors, yes he is aware of it and that’s why he expected a more concerned move from them all at a time when they could have corrected it at one point. But, no one paid any heed, everything went on as a soulless ritual rushing towards completion and soon the heroes were in the limelight.

He just got off because he just wanted to avoid any direct confrontation with the people concerned. He reacts fiercely and his expressions so often turn harsh when he is enraged leaving him with the terrible unrest of having hurt the very people he held so close to his being. He just wanted to get away from the scene as early as possible. Walking back alone asking himself ‘is this what they are?”. More than the way he was treated and shunned off , what that hurt him most was their attitude and cool indifference. He found it hard not to let the recent inference nullify the pervious understanding based on many a close interaction. He tried to see things from as many different perspectives in the light of his best understanding of them. But no, he could not reckon with it at all … those acts remained acts of indifference and defience in total contradiction to the way many have understood them. But then he knows that people change and there are many layers to one’s being. How true : “You never step into the same river twice”

His interaction with them is not going to stop here any way. There is lot of work to be done and as usual he rushed back to his office to get going with his new initiatives . Work had always been a great solace to him so far.

Some one said : “The reward of one work done is the confidence to do another”….he added a rejoinder to it.. “to bear further as well!”

He is much relieved because he did not end up devouring them with his angst and wrath, and he walked back assuring himself a sleep undisturbed by nightmares of repentance and aftermath of pouncing on them, their gloomy faces will not haunt him at all. All that he must do is to learn to smile at them with no remorse, and that he is sure of because he will wake up with a few exciting new ideas to incorporate in this new task ahead.

Better to remain aloof and function as a tool than as a participator in the inner circles. Perhaps it will alienate him from many, but sure he will not have to indulge himself in the 'promoting each other' game.

One is not seen any more for his uniqueness and originality, rather one is counted on more as a replaceable entity. You initiate - You innnovate - They improvise and it is all theirs or rather You buy the plot-you build the house - they paint it involving you too - pay you a little extra (the extra money being the price the fixed for the house) and the house is theirs. You do not fight back because they are your neighbours any way.

The best way, he finally figured out , is to not to associate himself to people around beyond the domains of necessary professional interaction.

Thank God, there is enough work to do and new ideas never cease to bubble forth!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Limelight Kills !


Of (not) Giving and (still) Losing


When you are made to forsake your most priced possessions, all that you have then is the love you can give and perhaps that is why it is said 'what is not given is lost'.