Un-I-fying ...and a Song

I have no clue of
Where i shall end up
on this path of exploring myself;
i have just begun to realize
that the more i try to live from within
the more vulnerable and sensitive i become
and more fierce
the throngs of pain and loneliness.

Seeing my cherished beliefs
shatter before my eyes,
i know it is going to cost me
my dreams, my desires, prejudice
and the certainty of the known.

What i accept this moment,
i find myself rejecting it
the very next moment.

Trying to 'Unify' the fragments
with the glue of reason
i realize that life is not
quite a jigsaw puzzle...
instead each fragment
a fractal reflecting itself
and the rest.

An attempt to 'unify'
gave way to 'un'-I-fication...

i adore,
i abhor...
and some times my very
saying and doing it.

i am 'un'
and also 'un' of 'un' !

Post script: Scribbled that much sitting in the portico of Tatta's tea shop...and then went blank wondering what to write next. It is then he switched on his radio...and the old Tamil song from the local FM station came coursing through...as if it had a message for me. Gazing at the clouds grazing around the mighty 'elephentanie hill' , watching people moving on the railway platform waiting for the evening train...in sharp contrast with Bombay suburban railway stations in the evening where you see people risk their lives to reach back home on time... seeing 'tatta' lighting the evening lamp before his make shift altar, the song added a mystique dimension to what otherwise would have been just another misty evening:

Here is that Tamil song transliterated:

"Erikkum edatte vittu
illattha idam teedi
engengoo pooyi alayum
Jnana thangamee..."

Roughly translated, it reads:

“Forsaking the place you dwell
You wander amok,
O’ dear effulgent one,
Seeking out the never land ..”